There was no excitement or any different feel as 31st December 2007 night crawled. For some reason, probably work overload i returned late from office and i t was 1st January 2008. As expected nothing was different so slept till 11 am. Actually was planning to spend the whole day in bed only but a like minded soul calls up , Kauti daaru ho jaye. Trust me getting liquor on first January is almost impossible from the shops. Most of the stuff is sold off by 31st. Anyways call for daaru is something like you call for veteran soldiers in wartime. Myself and my friend managed to obtain a quarter of signature and one old monk (yukkk). We got some regular snacks and started and trust me signature was over in no time and old monk was goin on and on and on because it was just not getting in. Well we gave up and started paying with rum and fire and badly messed up the floor. Evening was on Kotivakkam Beach bitching 2007 and hoping for a great 2008. So thats how new year was celebrated. Seemed like there cant be a worse way to celebrate new year.
I started writing this before 1st January
Amazingly we think nothing can go bad than the present and then realise what happened was nothing the real s**t is yet to come. 31st December 2008, i had loads of work and stayed late in office. Sometime around 10pm i realised , new year should be celebrated moreover felt let me take a break. Called up a friend and asked him to buy a Teachers lavender full. By 12 midnight i was sloshed , got back to senses at 7am again sloshed and again got up at 12 and sloshed. Evening not even a single drop of alcohol was left neither a drop of water. Went out to find all the grocery shops closed and the ones open didn't have bisleri. Trust me , there is nothing worse than like u have a major hangover, puked and not a single drop of water for and hour. By that time i reached a big mall called Lifestyle. I was getting sick and sicker. I felt , a huge mall will definately have one of the most basic necessities of life called water and to my surprise it wasn't. While i am writing this i feel so pissed of. Where are we going. I check my wallet, 2 credit cards and two debit onces meaning a combined value of quite a lot and i don't have water to drink. WTF.
I was about to explode in frustration and anguish to the receptionist right then a security guard come near me and asks " Sir aapki tabiyat thik hai .. koi madad karoon" ( Sir you don't seem to be well. Should i help) . I could hardly utter " Water" not because of my physical state but out of frustration. The guy just got me a glass of water which was probably for his personal use. I gulped a couple of Glasses thanked him, took an auto and came back to room. This was how my new year started.
Its 11th January today and i realise that only good change which happened fron last year is , I moved form Signature and Old Monk to Teachers.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Never had a girlfriend!!!
Dedicated to R Group
Langta, one of my closest friends in collage had a bet with me sometimes in August08 that i cant have a girl and I topped up the bet with giving it a time frame. " I Kauti, will have a girl in 100 days " with the background lightnings and other hindi movie special effects. Needless to say what happened, hundred days were over and i remained pretty much self dependent and some stuff available online.
I hope by now you might have some hint on what this post is all about. Well one of the most discussed topic among boys... why a set of boys will always remain boyz and girls will be miles away from them. The answer to " Why I never had a girlfriend"
Well such a chronic issue can not be due to a single cause.
Be truthful to yourself and read further:
You hardly look at the face of girls when you talk to them . At least you are least interested in the face.
All the jokes you know are Non veg..err.. Adult Jokes and you don't understand vegetarian jokes. All the slangs you use end with local languages most abusive word.
You have been a back bencher all your life because you never believed that anything will improve if you sit in the first bench.
The discussions with opposite sex begins , can i have this or that ..or at most do you have the notes for some crap paper.
All the English songs you know is Linkin Park and Pink Floyd . You don't understand a word of them but who cares when you have joins of grass packed and flowing.Moreover that's the only time you listen them.
In the name of dance all you know is making a circle of think alikes and shaking and shouting busting others.
You prefer to go to that corner chai shop and lit your cheap cigarette rather than Barista or CCD.
Whenever you go to a restaurant , you call the waiters by eehh... oye sun...chote... and similar stuff. ""Excuse me" is not on you dictionary.
English is just another language for you.
These are the stuff which i found very common in my friends who were, needless to mention " Never had a Girl Types"
You always sat in the last bench because believed lectures are meant for unintelligent people.
You never cared to wash your jeans which had spots of all the junk food you had over last month
But something which is more fundamental in nature, you cant stand a discussion like below even for two mins.
Boy : Hi. So what did you have in Breakfast
Girl: Bread
Boy: Dieting han?.. lolz ( god knows how can this be funny)
Girl : Nah, but actually i take wheat bread only
Boy : Actually even i had the same breakfast but , regular bread. So what did u have bread with?
Girl: Omelet
Boy : I had it with Jam
Girl : OOuch.... it even feels yukie to read " Jam"
Boy: I was sugar free...
What the Fuck... Bullshit... I cant take it... So I don't have a Girlfriend!!!.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
User Interface Design
I find it weird to put this topic here as its not something which you might be expecting here. No bullshit, its serious business which is my breadwinner. I architect User Interfaces. All professions are great in their own means but UI design has not got its due for all this while.
Whatever be the case, time has come and UI architects are being recognized as a discrete breed of professionals. Sometimes I wonder , rather laugh when people say design/architecture is a creative field.Its about changing the color of a button or making a fundoo interaction. Sometimes its even considered giving cool names to objects present in the UI or making some really catching cool icons.
Probably all these are the final products which come out but the most important part which is always neglected is the analysis and research. I am not sure how many developers need to do a research every time they write a snippet of code for a Name sort or a Date sort , as it will always be the same and will always have the same logic. When its comes to the design of User Interface every application or product is unique. Just one basic understanding , All businesses are different and so are their business processes.These business processes make each shop, company, enterprise or system unique. If they are not unique, they will not have a clientele. In this 21st century, when everything is going to become online and automated the business processes are nothing but the User Interfaces you see.
So the UI design should reflect or map the business and its needs e.g. If a company which sells Old Age gears should have a site which has bold clear letters,should have easily accessible links and the list goes on. Actually, even this level of generic details are sometimes most inaccurate when it comes to the UI design.
Now here is one very interesting view " The two design theories User Centered and Business Centered are a contarst to each other." I wonder how are they different. If you make a design for the user i.e. customesrs of the business you make the design for business and if you make a design for business which is not User ( customer friendly) how can it be business friendly.
The way I feel it, what ever design we make, Business and Users are just the faces fo the same coin.
I can explain the steps fo UI design but it will make my post another juch of UI design theory. So by now if are able to understand that architecting UI is not just " all i told in beginning" google it. Trust me you will get a lot of insight to it. You will find a lots of things which seem so obvious to you take such huge abount of research. Just a teaser " OK should come first or Cancel" mull over it and when done google it.
Whatever be the case, time has come and UI architects are being recognized as a discrete breed of professionals. Sometimes I wonder , rather laugh when people say design/architecture is a creative field.Its about changing the color of a button or making a fundoo interaction. Sometimes its even considered giving cool names to objects present in the UI or making some really catching cool icons.
Probably all these are the final products which come out but the most important part which is always neglected is the analysis and research. I am not sure how many developers need to do a research every time they write a snippet of code for a Name sort or a Date sort , as it will always be the same and will always have the same logic. When its comes to the design of User Interface every application or product is unique. Just one basic understanding , All businesses are different and so are their business processes.These business processes make each shop, company, enterprise or system unique. If they are not unique, they will not have a clientele. In this 21st century, when everything is going to become online and automated the business processes are nothing but the User Interfaces you see.
So the UI design should reflect or map the business and its needs e.g. If a company which sells Old Age gears should have a site which has bold clear letters,should have easily accessible links and the list goes on. Actually, even this level of generic details are sometimes most inaccurate when it comes to the UI design.
Now here is one very interesting view " The two design theories User Centered and Business Centered are a contarst to each other." I wonder how are they different. If you make a design for the user i.e. customesrs of the business you make the design for business and if you make a design for business which is not User ( customer friendly) how can it be business friendly.
The way I feel it, what ever design we make, Business and Users are just the faces fo the same coin.
I can explain the steps fo UI design but it will make my post another juch of UI design theory. So by now if are able to understand that architecting UI is not just " all i told in beginning" google it. Trust me you will get a lot of insight to it. You will find a lots of things which seem so obvious to you take such huge abount of research. Just a teaser " OK should come first or Cancel" mull over it and when done google it.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Company changed, place changed but I remained the same......(2)
It has been a while i didn't write about the things i really started writing with.
Well, first of all I am getting double of what i was getting with my previous employer.The story doesn't end there , I am working at least 4 times what i used to so in bargain, its always the employer wins. Well that's what we call business. So my advise ( or Gyaan - My Most talked about specialty) do not make a Job Switch if you are looking for Serious Money and Less work.
Sometimes i introspect think what is wrong, why i feel the universe conspires against me , why i couldn't get into IIT, why i could not study in my engineering, why i always found a place only outside the class, why no teacher was ever interested in teaching me, why were assignments always copied , why i never had a girlfriend , why i ended up in a mediocre job and the Tags which define a Bloody Average Indian Male fit so perfectly on me. I try to see life in last six years , it unfolds in a melodramatic way seems like a plot being written after i try to do any productive thing in life.
It started from my first few days in collage, i bought 8 notebooks for 8 different subjects ,eyes dreamzfull of to study Bio Technology and Clone Humans , finding cure for cancer, studies plan for PhD, post docs and even further and all wannabes for parents and teachers. Well i remember the first class i attended in college , Technical English for Engineers (unsure why was it restricted for engineers - as i understand , for its unbelievable low standards). Actually I remember only the first few mins of that class as I fell asleep and got up only after 4th hour and hence the dreams.
The same story continued in most of "Truly Technical" classes and I trust me it was just the beginning. Later in my engineering days, i was tortured by the Boring, More Boring and Most Boringest profs ( sorry for my superlatives but hope you empathise).So this way i realised that notebooks are a sheer waste of natural resources ( environmental engineering). I remember once incident when i had a brilliant project idea of doing a research on some bullshit and the first question my Proff asked how much did u score in last quiz? This was murder of a very potent scientist who could probably have made an impact on every human life but alas someone else was always writing the plot.
I had a chance to do my summer internship at one of the best fermentation labs at United Breweries. God knows why the hell did i try so much for it and got it. I prepared a wonderful report on the same,submitted to my faculty and trust me for the first time I felt so bad when i saw my report dusted , probably used as duster which was never opened and a was given some grade lying in the corner. I again realised Kauti , sala system is bad, it sucks and sucks so much that doesn't deserve to be improved.
The same goes for My 1st job, my project work in collage or even life in general.
I wonder i spent at least half of my productive hours cribbing about the system and ya.. my sorry our favourite dialogue, "sala system hi kharab hai".
Right now i am wondering, i started this entry with a good mood in a casual and funny manner, but I am feeling sick. Not because system is making me sick because the realization " System is same, it was always the same for everyone . Winners make the best out of it and Loosers get screwed and the most useless bunch just be there bitchting about it. There were students in our collage who did great research at collage, there were guys who got great jobs, got life partners and list list goes on....."
Well, first of all I am getting double of what i was getting with my previous employer.The story doesn't end there , I am working at least 4 times what i used to so in bargain, its always the employer wins. Well that's what we call business. So my advise ( or Gyaan - My Most talked about specialty) do not make a Job Switch if you are looking for Serious Money and Less work.
Sometimes i introspect think what is wrong, why i feel the universe conspires against me , why i couldn't get into IIT, why i could not study in my engineering, why i always found a place only outside the class, why no teacher was ever interested in teaching me, why were assignments always copied , why i never had a girlfriend , why i ended up in a mediocre job and the Tags which define a Bloody Average Indian Male fit so perfectly on me. I try to see life in last six years , it unfolds in a melodramatic way seems like a plot being written after i try to do any productive thing in life.
It started from my first few days in collage, i bought 8 notebooks for 8 different subjects ,eyes dreamzfull of to study Bio Technology and Clone Humans , finding cure for cancer, studies plan for PhD, post docs and even further and all wannabes for parents and teachers. Well i remember the first class i attended in college , Technical English for Engineers (unsure why was it restricted for engineers - as i understand , for its unbelievable low standards). Actually I remember only the first few mins of that class as I fell asleep and got up only after 4th hour and hence the dreams.
The same story continued in most of "Truly Technical" classes and I trust me it was just the beginning. Later in my engineering days, i was tortured by the Boring, More Boring and Most Boringest profs ( sorry for my superlatives but hope you empathise).So this way i realised that notebooks are a sheer waste of natural resources ( environmental engineering). I remember once incident when i had a brilliant project idea of doing a research on some bullshit and the first question my Proff asked how much did u score in last quiz? This was murder of a very potent scientist who could probably have made an impact on every human life but alas someone else was always writing the plot.
I had a chance to do my summer internship at one of the best fermentation labs at United Breweries. God knows why the hell did i try so much for it and got it. I prepared a wonderful report on the same,submitted to my faculty and trust me for the first time I felt so bad when i saw my report dusted , probably used as duster which was never opened and a was given some grade lying in the corner. I again realised Kauti , sala system is bad, it sucks and sucks so much that doesn't deserve to be improved.
The same goes for My 1st job, my project work in collage or even life in general.
I wonder i spent at least half of my productive hours cribbing about the system and ya.. my sorry our favourite dialogue, "sala system hi kharab hai".
Right now i am wondering, i started this entry with a good mood in a casual and funny manner, but I am feeling sick. Not because system is making me sick because the realization " System is same, it was always the same for everyone . Winners make the best out of it and Loosers get screwed and the most useless bunch just be there bitchting about it. There were students in our collage who did great research at collage, there were guys who got great jobs, got life partners and list list goes on....."
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Engineer
Engineer the Omniscient
Engineer is the human being who has completed and mastered all concepts before coming to collage.
In college all he does is to loose them.
Engineer is an inquisitive creature who is interested in everything below the Sun except the coursework in current semester.
Engineer never creates assignments. Assignments can never be created or destroyed. They can be changed from one file to other.
Engineer the Cupid
Engineers have secret crushes which is public to all.
For an engineer
1. If a girl smiles : She likes him
2. If a girl talks once : She is ready to be proposed
3. If a girl
Engineer is the Non Female who wants to have a girl friend and keeps the spirits high under the influence of motivating Spirits.
Engineer keeps the most creative juices flowing for all girls equally.
Engineer the Reformer
Engineer is the entity who dreams to change this world and does absolutely nothing about it.
Engineer tries his luck in all courses and companies and finally ends up in an IT Services company again doing nothing.
bored.... me too.... what the f
Engineer is the human being who has completed and mastered all concepts before coming to collage.
In college all he does is to loose them.
Engineer is an inquisitive creature who is interested in everything below the Sun except the coursework in current semester.
Engineer never creates assignments. Assignments can never be created or destroyed. They can be changed from one file to other.
Engineer the Cupid
Engineers have secret crushes which is public to all.
For an engineer
1. If a girl smiles : She likes him
2. If a girl talks once : She is ready to be proposed
3. If a girl
Engineer is the Non Female who wants to have a girl friend and keeps the spirits high under the influence of motivating Spirits.
Engineer keeps the most creative juices flowing for all girls equally.
Engineer the Reformer
Engineer is the entity who dreams to change this world and does absolutely nothing about it.
Engineer tries his luck in all courses and companies and finally ends up in an IT Services company again doing nothing.
bored.... me too.... what the f
Friday, August 22, 2008
Concept called God
If something is present across civilizations, cultures, religions or Ages , one thing is sure there is a need for it. These things are tangible and abstract as well. Say Marriage or say Family so tangible and so much visible everyday. And God so intangible so Abstract.
There have been many theories around this entity called God. There has been many views regarding its Existence or Non Existence. The point i want to draw home is people have been studying the same as there has been a need for this concept called God.
For an infant mother provides food shelter and all love and warmth it needs
A kid has parents to provide all is needed
As one grows friends, teachers and wife
but there are things on which none can help. By the time we get used to having someone who can solve all problems and answers everything. In form of Mother, Father, Friends, Wife , Society.
But then for the things we don't have a solution.... the concept called God fills in the vaccum.
There have been many theories around this entity called God. There has been many views regarding its Existence or Non Existence. The point i want to draw home is people have been studying the same as there has been a need for this concept called God.
For an infant mother provides food shelter and all love and warmth it needs
A kid has parents to provide all is needed
As one grows friends, teachers and wife
but there are things on which none can help. By the time we get used to having someone who can solve all problems and answers everything. In form of Mother, Father, Friends, Wife , Society.
But then for the things we don't have a solution.... the concept called God fills in the vaccum.
Monday, August 11, 2008
She.......
Finally I did it. I was so exited that i called my friends and celebrated. Yes i did talk to her.I had been planning for this for like ages ( 2 - 3 weeks). Charged with the confidence of all night outed plannings and the wonderful first timer influence of alcohol I finally asked her . " Do you have an extra pen " in chemistry lab. Well you all might laugh but this was The first and the last sentence i could utter. I forgot the plan after that took the pen and left that place quite dreamy , planning to boast about my first rendezvous with " She".
It was the same " She" for Myself and one of my best buddies. And amazing was the fact that both of us helped each other for the same without any hatred. She had an amazing sense for dressing which only two of us could appreciate and widely marked as Weird by the so called decent crowd in our collage. Eventually my friend found love of his life and went one way and Myself was messed up after another " She " who eventually dumped me.
I believe "she" and I became better friends and at least i got to know her better. We used to have numerous coffee breaks and quantitatively good lunches. Trust me i never saw a girl eating so much and that too for a skinny girl like her. As i have told earlier She had a boyfriend and i was dumped , we used to bitch about each others whatever. As everything changes and changes towards stability we were discussing about almost everything below the sun. Some discussions even extending for hours and so engaging that easily missing the lunch meaning a decent eat out.We are very different creatures but one common thing we love food and ate like pigs.
Then suddenly the dream was over. The collage was over and she got married went to a different continent. I wonder what i wanted , i could probably never figure out but sometimes i feel " Asking for a pen" doesn't work anymore.
I understand that end of story is very abrupt but well thats how life is.
It was the same " She" for Myself and one of my best buddies. And amazing was the fact that both of us helped each other for the same without any hatred. She had an amazing sense for dressing which only two of us could appreciate and widely marked as Weird by the so called decent crowd in our collage. Eventually my friend found love of his life and went one way and Myself was messed up after another " She " who eventually dumped me.
I believe "she" and I became better friends and at least i got to know her better. We used to have numerous coffee breaks and quantitatively good lunches. Trust me i never saw a girl eating so much and that too for a skinny girl like her. As i have told earlier She had a boyfriend and i was dumped , we used to bitch about each others whatever. As everything changes and changes towards stability we were discussing about almost everything below the sun. Some discussions even extending for hours and so engaging that easily missing the lunch meaning a decent eat out.We are very different creatures but one common thing we love food and ate like pigs.
Then suddenly the dream was over. The collage was over and she got married went to a different continent. I wonder what i wanted , i could probably never figure out but sometimes i feel " Asking for a pen" doesn't work anymore.
I understand that end of story is very abrupt but well thats how life is.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Company changed, place changed but I remained the same......
Never thought that i will miss CTS. Alas i do. But i do feel better on the last working day of the month when instead of peanuts from cognizant, i get just a little more peanuts .
I still remember sitting in the Academy audi and doing the joining formalities on 7th August 2006. Fresh out of collage and after an amazingly boring one and a half month vacation between collage and job. We knew there was not going to be any surprise in the offer letter they give on the joining day.
" Kausalyawa"... no "Kautalya"..... sorry... my friend interrupetd "Kauti tera naam hi bula raha hai HR madar*". I realised yes thats my Name the poor guy is trying to call so i went up there to take my offer letter which had the same cursed number as all others.There were more thoughts going on in my hollow head than the number of letters in that Offer letter. One very significant was.... "Kauti this is what you get if you mess up badly with your studies, do a degree in Bio Technology and give excuses that you are a Non Bio student."
The food they served before giving that letter was also quite crappy and the nearest analogy i can bring to that food will not be parliamentary. So ,that's how it all started and to be very true as expected the Company was " Meets Few Expectations" . Though i didn't know about this Jargon, Expectations suffixed and prefixed with "Meet" and "Exceed" became part and parcel of life like all others around me.
The days started rolling at CTS and Myself being me, trying to be different ( not sure if I am) I joined a stream which all of my friends rejected at the first site stating whats the value of an engineer in a Technology company who doesn't work on technology and talks business bullshit in from of big B school grads. Well I joined Advanced UI Team at CTS and the time will tell about the appropriateness of the decision.
There had been Frustrating , Very Frustrating and Even more frustrating days at CTS but there were times we had good fun. Before i go ahead, there was not even a single good looking girl in the gropu so we had to Forage in other Business Units or buildings. It sounds more far that it was. The HR bay was just the next floor and it had a good lobby and decent coffee vending machine. I still wonder , is it a policy level decision that most HR bays will have a decent lobby in front of them so that the deadly engineers who are born to make this world an easier place to live will live here in their bench (corporate honeymoon) period.
...................................................................................................................................................to be continued
I still remember sitting in the Academy audi and doing the joining formalities on 7th August 2006. Fresh out of collage and after an amazingly boring one and a half month vacation between collage and job. We knew there was not going to be any surprise in the offer letter they give on the joining day.
" Kausalyawa"... no "Kautalya"..... sorry... my friend interrupetd "Kauti tera naam hi bula raha hai HR madar*". I realised yes thats my Name the poor guy is trying to call so i went up there to take my offer letter which had the same cursed number as all others.There were more thoughts going on in my hollow head than the number of letters in that Offer letter. One very significant was.... "Kauti this is what you get if you mess up badly with your studies, do a degree in Bio Technology and give excuses that you are a Non Bio student."
The food they served before giving that letter was also quite crappy and the nearest analogy i can bring to that food will not be parliamentary. So ,that's how it all started and to be very true as expected the Company was " Meets Few Expectations" . Though i didn't know about this Jargon, Expectations suffixed and prefixed with "Meet" and "Exceed" became part and parcel of life like all others around me.
The days started rolling at CTS and Myself being me, trying to be different ( not sure if I am) I joined a stream which all of my friends rejected at the first site stating whats the value of an engineer in a Technology company who doesn't work on technology and talks business bullshit in from of big B school grads. Well I joined Advanced UI Team at CTS and the time will tell about the appropriateness of the decision.
There had been Frustrating , Very Frustrating and Even more frustrating days at CTS but there were times we had good fun. Before i go ahead, there was not even a single good looking girl in the gropu so we had to Forage in other Business Units or buildings. It sounds more far that it was. The HR bay was just the next floor and it had a good lobby and decent coffee vending machine. I still wonder , is it a policy level decision that most HR bays will have a decent lobby in front of them so that the deadly engineers who are born to make this world an easier place to live will live here in their bench (corporate honeymoon) period.
...................................................................................................................................................to be continued
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